Love being mad about…….a song, a book, a writer, some words strung together, a place, a spot, that colour of the sky which is never the same, a person, a restaurant, a dish, yellow roses, poetry, a cup of tea, a glass of Chianti, the feeling after finishing a run, It’s so important to be crazy about one thing all the time. The thing keeps changing but craziness needs to be a constant as nothing stays, nothing lasts, but what remains is only the feeling. That feeling in the middle of the chest when I am mad about something, the one which is a sign of happiness and slight heaviness because I know it won’t last, either my love for the song, or the book, or the writer, or the spot, or the place, or the city, or the dish, or the person, or that colour of the evening sky, or the yellow roses, or the poem, but what will last will be the desire to feel like that again. And so I will never be stagnant.
Oh you wonderful being
Gather your self from your fragments in the dust
That dust which holds parts of you
That dust which will reshape you
To be the dust again that’s sprinkled over the living.
Lately, or rather every now and then the urge to put down ones thoughts, stories, anecdotes, musings come to me as well and the brash feeling that I could be a writer too. I have so many stories to tell, stories which on their own may seem like any average Joe’s life but of course they hold a lot of importance in my mind as those parts of my life either shook me up, made me feel intense happiness or sadness or made me take and act on decisions that I realised were wrong the moment I acted on them, but they are my stories….so when you look back at your life and try and capture that feeling you were going through, the inexplicable feeling of flying, or falling, or floating, you can never put it down in words somehow the best possible way. Every time you look at those words they seem slightly shallow and you end up using heavy words to express your emotion but heavy words are not the right substitute to capture what you felt at that time.
So, the most important thing I have realised is to write down when you are going through your experiences, write down when you are indulging your mind with random observations of people, places, things around you. Write down when you know that you are at a loss of words to say anything out aloud because all this intensity can make someone feel like that at times, but somehow, pen and paper always find a way to make sense. And when you look back at it, you may not feel as intensely as you did when you wrote it, because you moved on and you felt new things, had new experiences, met new people, went to new places, realised that you are mortal after all, became a health freak, vegan, non-smoker, a person who runs marathons…… whatever…..but it will help to connect all the dots of this being. So write.